Recent Read: On Our Best Behavior

I recently finished Elise Loehnen’s On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good. As anyone who has interacted with me in the week since will tell you, it became one of my top five favorite books ever and I cannot stop raving about the writing, the topic, or the research that went into it. Many are familiar with the seven deadly sins as being based in Judeo-Christian beliefs, put forth by Pope Gregory the 1st in the sixth century. The seven cardinal sins or vices being pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. I learned from reading this well-written tome that there were initially eight evil thoughts (logismi) put forth by the ascetic Evagrious Ponticus in the fourth century and that it had been passed on before being codified by Pope Gregory.

Ms. Loehnen writes about the stealthy pressure these “sins” have had on women throughout the years since the Catholic church implemented the teachings as doctrine. Even in our largely secular society today, women still abide by the fear of these sins; from diet culture (gluttony), waking early to be a “girl-boss” (sloth), and striving to not be seen as prideful or vain. With each chapter another sin is unpacked, including the eighth evil thought, sadness.

I found myself strongly drawn to the chapters on wrath and sadness. For so many, anger is seen as negative in women but not in men, particularly in workplaces. In reading through her chapter I was able to see how I myself have worked to not be seen as “angry” or “hotheaded” and how moments I may have reacted in anger have been used against me – even if they were valid feelings and approached in appropriate ways.

I had never read any work by Ms. Loehnen, who was previously the chief content officer of goop but I now find myself following her podcast Pulling the Thread and avidly reading through the book recommendations on her website. . Well, I should say – I have never KNOWINGLY read her work. She has ghost written over ten books, many of which were NYT bestsellers so I may have read her previously and am just not aware!

While the premise would seem to place the book in a religious vein, or even personal progress (how I refer to ‘self-help'), I would argue that it is an essential reading for business. Ms. Loehnen carefully shares how the desire to be good prevents women from getting ahead in business. From a lack of negotiation (greed), to the inability to talk about accomplishments (pride), and as I mentioned above – the ubiquitous angry women (how many times are men ever asked if it is that time of the month?). For women, it provides ways to rethink these aspects. For men, it offers a view they may not have thought of previously and now may be more open to speaking about.

In case you haven’t caught on......I LOVED this book. Run out to find it wherever you like to buy books.